When Fiona was a baby her sister would put her finger in the middle of the baby’s eyebrows, push down, and make the baby’s face into an evil scowl. She claimed it was the little one’s evil twin and named her a contraction of the kid’s first 3 names: Fibethos (fee BETH ohs)

It’s more ridiculous than it sounds.

Since these lyrics are a bit of a parody of what she’s like as she approaches 14, I figgered naming it after her evil twin would be appropriate. And then explaining it to death.

G D C C She always comes and says good morning
At least the days she’s up before noon
And her mom asks her how are you
C D G G She doesn’t answer; too soon, too soon

Then it’s back upstairs to
Where the creature is reanimated
In an hour or so she’s back in the kitchen
For a breakfast that was prefabricated

C D G G Our seventh child is a little bit odd
C D Em Em That’s how some peppers grow
C D G C Laughs when I’m funny, doesn’t cost much money
C D G G She reminds me of someone I know

Her sister is her very best friend
When they’re together who knows what goes on
Singing and la
They’re rarely asleep before dawn


Her supper is 1 ounce of chicken
And eight or nine, maybe 10, peas
In the morning I discover overnight she’s consumed

  • A package of Ramen
  • A bowl of apple and cinnamon instant oatmeal
  • Four granola bars
  • A slice of toast with strawberry jelly
  • An apple A banana
  • Half a sleeve of Ritz crackers
  • And a cup of microwave Mac and cheese