Dry Heat

at least it’s a dry heat

crematoriums, or would it be crematoria?
they use dry heat

so does the oven in the kitchen
unless you’re using bain marie
which is French for boiled with wet air
a common cause of insanity and death in east Texas

fire
fire is as dry as heat gets
but we don’t want first responders to say “at least it’s a dry fire”
at least it’s a dry fire

that frying pan you left on the stove top after you rinsed it
when you remembered it and took it off the burner and you forgot how long it had been on so you didn’t use a potholder
that’s a dry heat

in Seattle
or San Francisco
or Milwaukee
they don’t say, when it rains, “at least it’s a cool wet”
it doesn’t help
thank you
thank you very much for reminding me that instead of being cold and wet, I could be hot and wet
because knowing things could be worse always makes the pain go away
worse things happen at sea
possibly to children starving in China
I don’t know
but I still won’t eat liver
so don’t tell me they’re hungry
it doesn’t help

temperatures should have 2 digits
I’m flexible
the first digit can be anywhere from 2 to 7
and the second digit can be anything you like
any number at all
I’m flexible

but when the temperature has 3 digits
no matter what they are
I know it’s a dry heat
I’ve used an oven
and a frying pan
and I’ve been to Seattle
and San Francisco
and even Milwaukee
not China
not yet
and nobody says “at least it’s a cool wet”
nobody says that
anywhere
and there’s a reason for it
it doesn’t make sense
even to those hungry Chinese children

If it Ain’t Broke

young folks seem to have a mind
to fall in love and find the kind
of love that young folks think is heaven sent
but after they’re no longer blind
they wake up to a frame of mind
wondering where on earth their heaven went

he looks at her and wonders if maybe this thing is busted
she looks at him and wonders if he couldn’t be adjusted

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it
I thought we had a good thing going
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it
Better leave well enough alone

we’ve seen it one too many times
in cowboy songs and poet’s rhymes
how men and women don’t see things the same
he suspects she’s keeping score
and she suspects he’s keeping more
in the locker room than he’s bringing to the game

she calls it encouragement for him to do his best
he calls it something else and wishes she’d give it a rest

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it
I thought we had a good thing going
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it
Better leave well enough alone

the moral of the story is
(you knew there’d be one; always is)
young love isn’t always on its toes
she thinks he’ll change; he hopes she don’t
she always does; you know he won’t
and how they’re gonna make it, heaven knows

a boy and girl in love will surely do all that they can
but it seems to work out better with a woman and a man

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it
I thought we had a good thing going
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it
Better leave well enough alone
Why don’t you leave well enough alone?
I suggest you just leave well enough alone

performance notes
tenor guitar
capo 2
play in G
prechorus goes to A
not Am