Category: acoustic

Seven steps up from West Thirty-Fifth
To an old brownstone
Whose bulky genius wouldn’t work at all
If I left him on his own

Hoisting himself out of that custom chair
Only exercise he’ll get
Elevator to his orchids fair
So he doesn’t break a sweat

If it wasn’t for my needling
He’d have nothing much to do
If there was no Archie Goodwin
There’d be no you-know-who

Inspector Cramer in the big red chair
Chews on his unlit cigar
He swears someday he’s gonna get us both
But we all know he won’t get far

Theodore up in the orchid room
Saul and Fred and Fritz and me
Jump through hoops to suit his every whim
Best you’ll hear is ‘satisfactory’

If it wasn’t for my needling
He’d have nothing much to do
If there was no Archie Goodwin
There’d be no you-know-who

Never leaves the house on business
Unless some flummery’s afoot
Maybe a meal upstairs at Rustermann’s
But he’d prefer to just stay put

So I go out with Lily Rowan
Flamingo lays out quite a spread
Back home a snack is always waiting
Big glass of milk and off to bed

If it wasn’t for my needling
He’d have nothing much to do
If there was no Archie Goodwin
There’d be no you-know-who

They come in droves to hire the genius
But disappointed out they go
He seems impervious to needling
Unless the bank account is low

But when he finally takes an interest
He sits and thinks and thinks and sits
Lips pushing in and out with eyes closed
About as active as he gets

If it wasn’t for my needling
He’d have nothing much to do
If there was no Archie Goodwin
There’d be no you-know-who

“Please sit down; eyes at a level”
“Will you have a beer with me?”
He doesn’t stand, he won’t shake hands
The author’s name his physiognomy

I’ve put up with this enfant terrible
Forty years and maybe more
And through ’em all I’ve quit so many times
I’d love to even up the score

If it wasn’t for my needling
He’d have nothing much to do
If there was no Archie Goodwin
There’d be no you-know-who

If there was no Archie Goodwin
There’d be no you-know-who

intro C G C G
C G
You should have married Andrew Jackson
I know that you think more of him than me
I’ll bet Ben Franklin would be fine with you
D C G
and that’s fine with me as far as I can see

Alexander Hamilton is only half as much
as Andrew Jackson in your twisted mind
George Washington is peanuts and Lincoln’s not much more
but Grover Cleveland would be quite a find

too bad Woodrow Wilson don’t circulate no more
got your hands on him he’d never leave
but give me just one Roosevelt to call a cab
and I’ll be gone for good you’d best believe

Fiona: drums w/snare on, brush/hot rod | notes
capo 3, play in A
It’s raining straight in my face and I’m losing my place in the lane
as the big rigs go by spitting mud in my face
and it’s all I can do just to hang on and pray
up ahead there’s a curve to the left and I’ll go to the right
and I’ll be home tonight and you’ll be there to meet me
and help me try to make some sense of my day

last night or last week or last month or last year
I’d never have thought I’d be coming back here
to the place that I should never have left in the first place at all
but this morning I woke in more ways than one
underpaid undervalued and under the gun
was the last night week month year of climbing that wall

had a lotta friends who were really great
took the shirt off my back and the food from my plate
but they left me an old mandolin and a song or two
gave a beat up car and an old guitar
and a mandolin I couldn’t play anyway
for this old road warrior that’s bringing me back to you

two iron lungs between my knees
all the leatherwork died of some horrid disease
and I’ll bet you a nickel ain’t no nickel left in that chrome
it’s ragged and ugly but it sure is fast
eating miles and bugs and oil and gas
and time on the road to the hills that we call home

up ahead there’s a curve to the left and I’ll go to the right
and I’ll be home tonight and you’ll be there to meet me
and help me try to make a little sense of my day

bass notes

P-F T-C
walkdown →
             C             B            Bb        A
It’s raining straight in my face and I’m losing my place in the
F           C           F           C
lane as the big rigs go by spitting mud in my 
G             D         G          D           C   G   F C
face and it’s all I can do just to hang on and pray
    C             B            Bb            A
up ahead there’s a curve to the left and I’ll go to the 
F             C         F               C
right and I’ll be home tonight and you’ll be there to 
G           D         G        D           C   G   C bump
meet me and help me try to make some sense of my day

last night or last week or last month or last year
I’d never have thought I’d be coming back here
to the place I should never have left in the first place at all
but this morning I woke in more ways than one
underpaid undervalued and under the gun
was the last night week month year of climbing that wall

had a lotta friends who were really great
took the shirt off my back and the food from my plate
but they left me an old mandolin and a song or two
gave a beat up car and an old guitar
and a mandolin I couldn’t play anyway
for this old road warrior that’s bringing me back to you

two iron lungs between my knees
all the leatherwork died of some horrid disease
and I’ll bet you a nickel ain’t no nickel left in that chrome
it’s ragged and ugly but it sure is fast
eating miles and bugs and oil and gas
and time on the road to the hills that we call home

up ahead there’s a curve to the left and I’ll go to the right
and I’ll be home tonight and you’ll be there to meet me
and help me try to make a little sense of my day
up ahead there’s a curve to the left and I’ll go to the right
and I’ll be home tonight and you’ll be there to meet me
and help me try to make a little sense of my day

walkdown →
    C             B            Bb            A
up ahead there’s a curve to the left and I’ll go to the 
F             C         F               C
right and I’ll be home tonight and you’ll be there to 
G           D         G        D           C   G   C bump
meet me and help me try to make some sense of my day
    C             B            Bb            A
up ahead there’s a curve to the left and I’ll go to the 
F             C         F               C
right and I’ll be home tonight and you’ll be there to 
G           D         G        D           C   G   C C C C CCCC
meet me and help me try to make some sense of my day

capo 1
heading north across the border
to a land that feels like home
to a place a man can step outside and breathe
fill my lungs with all the songs
nature’s singin’ out to me
where there’s room to spread my arms and sing along

D
there’s a light between the branches in a stand of aspen trees
G D A
that lift the stream up to the very sky
D G
it whispers with a voice colored blue and white and gold
D G A D
of peace for every soul that passes by

G D
sky so wide I cannot see it all
G D A
trees of every color as far as eyes can see
G D
listen to the rivers as they call
D
come lie in my arms; find the peace
G A D
that means so much to me

there’s a voice across the prairie that’s calling out for me
to find my way out to another land
and it leads me to a place peace can come to me
with the comfort of a warm and gentle hand

chorus

heading north across the border to a land that feels like home
to a place a man can step outside and breathe
fill my lungs with all the songs nature’s singin’ out to me
where there’s room to spread my arms and sing along

capo 3

I love getting all the kids singing along. I love getting their parents singing along.

Worst rhyme for chocolate ever. No one will care.

I saved up all my pennies for at least a hundred years
I thought I’d better spend it before it disappears
I thought of all the places I’d been to before
I thought the place to spend it was at the candy store

They have so many goodies you won’t believe your eyes
Every kind of candy in jars of every size
They serve you with their fingers, never mind the germs
They don’t really matter when you’re eating gummy worms

Give me one, give me two,
Give me three or four
If you give me all of them
I won’t ask for more

It’s important to eat healthy to grow up big and strong, but
That’s not the kind of nonsense you put in a children’s song
The vegetables in a candy store are called jelly beans

Give me one, give me two,
Give me three or four
If you give me all of them
I won’t ask for more

Maybe you’ve a hankering for something dark and chewy
We don’t need an excuse to choose another treat, now do we?
You’ve heard about the sticky sweets they call Swedish fish
You can keep the silly things, give me licorice

Give me one, give me two,
Give me three or four
If you give me all of them
I won’t ask for more

Now we’re to the good stuff, the reason that I’m here
Whenever this is mentioned, all the mommies cheer
No need to describe it, I won’t talk a lot
The best thing in the candy store is a thing called . . .
. . .spinach! ha!
No need to describe it, I won’t talk a lot
The best thing in the candy store is a thing called chocolate

Give me one, give me two,
Give me three or four
If you give me all of them
I won’t ask for more