Author: Joel D Canfield

This Great Adventure

Posted on by Joel D Canfield

I’m often bemused and occasionally amused by the way some people approach travel and adventure. Growing up in south San Diego when my father worked in Tijuana I got used to other cultures and taking things for what they were instead of what I expected.

Am I’m riding on the back of an elephant
F G Am Please forgive any typos you may note
The video I made is still uploading
You’ll have to be content with reading what I wrote
The drive here from the airport was so short
The Jeep’s heated seats barely got warm
No vegan choices at last night’s big buffet
F G C And our tour guide wouldn’t cancel the rainstorm

F G C Never thought when we bought this great adventure
We’d be subjected to conditions like these
Can’t even get a half-caf low-fat cinnamon soy latte
F G Am Don’t think I’m so very hard to please
How do the locals live each day with such indignities?

Our guided tour of the jungle was a bust
My iPod battery died and I was stuck
Listening to the guide drone on and on
About the okkabeest and wildebuck
I tried the WiFi on our flight over the veldt
It’s free but then of course it’s awfully slow
Can’t recommend the side trip’s extra cost
You’ll see it clearer when they make the tv show
chorus

The entire country is redolent of wildlife
Someone should take steps to hide the smell
I’m sure the concierge would make amends
If only I could reach them on my cell
How can one enjoy the blooming sunset
When it’s purple instead of pink and orange?
And now my phone’s battery is dying
I’m afraid I won’t be finishing—

 

Fibethos

Posted on by Joel D Canfield

When Fiona was a baby her sister would put her finger in the middle of the baby’s eyebrows, push down, and make the baby’s face into an evil scowl. She claimed it was the little one’s evil twin and named her a contraction of the kid’s first 3 names: Fibethos (fee BETH ohs)

It’s more ridiculous than it sounds.

Since these lyrics are a bit of a parody of what she’s like as she approaches 14, I figgered naming it after her evil twin would be appropriate. And then explaining it to death.

G D C C She always comes and says good morning
At least the days she’s up before noon
And her mom asks her how are you
C D G G She doesn’t answer; too soon, too soon

Then it’s back upstairs to
Where the creature is reanimated
In an hour or so she’s back in the kitchen
For a breakfast that was prefabricated

C D G G Our seventh child is a little bit odd
C D Em Em That’s how some peppers grow
C D G C Laughs when I’m funny, doesn’t cost much money
C D G G She reminds me of someone I know

Her sister is her very best friend
When they’re together who knows what goes on
Singing and la
They’re rarely asleep before dawn

chorus

Her supper is 1 ounce of chicken
And eight or nine, maybe 10, peas
In the morning I discover overnight she’s consumed

  • A package of Ramen
  • A bowl of apple and cinnamon instant oatmeal
  • Four granola bars
  • A slice of toast with strawberry jelly
  • An apple A banana
  • Half a sleeve of Ritz crackers
  • And a cup of microwave Mac and cheese

chorus

No Tropical Isle

Posted on by Joel D Canfield

I asked Best Beloved for a song idea. She hates it when I do that. She suggested something about a tropical island. I said what would we do with a tropical island? This was my answer to myself. (We live in Phoenix for family, not the weather. We like snow.)

After the first two verses I’m going to ask the audience “How about giving me the name of a tropical island that rhymes with, oh, potatoes, and I’ll write a verse” and then do the same for chow and peaty and whatnot. That way, the hokey rhymes are their fault. Yes they are.

capo 2
C G Am F
F G C G

Sun beating down not our style
We won’t be found on some tropical isle
We’d rather
Transparent beer is no fun
Dark stuff here would block the sun
Or maybe we’ll be drinking poteen in Ireland green

Winter spring summer fall
It’s our thing we want em all
Monotonous weather’s a bore anymore
Forget palm trees and miles of sand
This ocean breeze would freeze a steel drum band
We wear sweaters galore down by the shore

You’ll get tanned in Barbados
but Ireland has better potatoes
bangers and mash tonight sounds about right
fancy restaurant dishes in Curacao
but colcannon and fish is our favorite chow
ask us to share and we mig

Might be more sun down in Bali
but a walk is still fun with a brolly
you’ll never hear us complain about a little rain
you wear skimpy attire out in Tahiti
while we build a fire warm and peaty
the patter on the windowpane is good for my brain

we might like the pace in Trinidad
but Kerry’s the place for this nomad
we’re not the type to moan about being alone
the crowd’s having fun in Martinique
but we might see no one for a week
if you stop by for tea and a scone don’t for

Sun beating down not our style
We won’t be found on some tropical isle
We’d rather not make sunscreen part of our routine

19 Questions

Posted on by Joel D Canfield

G D5 F C

how do you know what someone wants?
what does it take to be loved?
what can you do to make them stay?

who gets to take? who needs to give?
why is it so? when does it change?
what can you do when they’ve gone away?

how can you see it coming on?
what do you do to see the truth?
who do you trust if not a friend?

why do we bother? what’s the point
when does it end? where do you go?
who do you turn to in the end?

and how do you know that’s true?
and what can you ever do
to stumble past the last miscue?

how do you move on from two
now they’re them and you’re you? I ask
’cause I don’t have a clue

River Song

Posted on by Joel D Canfield

A happy song.

The tenor guitar has opened up a whole world of experimentation for me. I’m finally, after a lifetime of musical muddling, noodling with stuff just because it sounds good, without even knowing what chords I’m playing sometimes.

capo 2 or open?
C7 [0323] F
F7 [3230] Bbmaj7 [2300]

Walking along by the river a song keeps on singing itself to me
Pouring it out of my head there’s no doubt what it’s trying to get me to see
It’s no surprise sparkling blue eyes come to my mind as it sings
Flashes of white from the river that write the magical lyrical wings
Walking along by the river a song keeps on singing itself to me

Walk through the
Just a bit more and I’ll come to your door and invite you to come walk along
River and grasses each moment that passes is filled with the joy of the birds
I’m well aware that golden brown hair is weaving itself through the words
Walk through the meadow and I know where I’ll go to find the rest of the song

[repeat 1st verse]

Why Don’t We Just Stay in Tonight

Posted on by Joel D Canfield

A pretty dress
And you look lovely in it
So much to say
But where do I begin it?
The way your jewels
Twinkle in the light
Why don’t we just stay in tonight?

Old worn out tux
Shiny at the elbows
Too tight to button
I’m quite a sight, heaven knows
But I’m in love and won’t give in without a fight
Why don’t we just stay in tonight?

Why don’t we just stay in and dream about the past?
Hold hands beside the fire and
Tell each other
How we know
A love like this will last

I wonder if
Our friends would care
To have their fun
If we’re not there
It’s our anniversary, ought to be our right
Why don’t we just stay in tonight?
I know that ballr
But why don’t we just stay in
Wouldn’t you rather just stay in
Why don’t we just stay in tonight?

All These Walls

Posted on by Joel D Canfield

People spend a lot of time fussing and fuming about things they can’t change. Like I used to. This isn’t about what’s in the news, it’s about what’s in my head.

capo 3 A E G D [keyboard C G Bb F] tenor G D F C G F

C           G
  all these walls
Bb          F
  beat your head
            C
  till they fall
C           G      G
  all these walls

beat the drum
till they come
beat your head
all these walls

take your time
don’t take mine
beat the drum
all these walls

climb up high
touch the sky
till they fall
all these walls

all these walls
beat your head
till they fall
all these walls

climb up high
touch the sky
till they fall
all these walls (x3)

All at Sea

Posted on by Joel D Canfield

sometimes it seems I’m all at sea with you
but in my dreams, all I see is you
your tide gives me a lift
then you set my heart adrift
then I’m wading through the foaming waves to shore, just sure you’re waiting there

sometimes it seems I’m all at sea with you
sometimes it seems I can’t agree with you
but I love you just the same
and that’s why you share my name
but sometimes it seems I’m all at sea with you

23 Steps

Posted on by Joel D Canfield

I discovered this simple 2-chord tropical sounding pattern a few years ago. I have a mild number obsession. I don’t know where the whole coffee thing came from. I drink it but it’s not my religion or anything.

tenor A6 [6677] B6 [8899]
6-string [xx2222 xx4444]

23 steps from the deck to the sand
23 more to the water
46 steps we take hand in hand
ocean son, sunshine’s daughter

gulls cry
we lie
under the blue
1 love
enough
coffee for 2

17 sunrises slide up the wall
shadows melting away
17 orangey pink sunsets fall
melting the colors to grey

chorus

2 cups of coffee under the blue
lazing
17 days with nothing to do
46 steps from the sea

chorus

coffee for 2 (repeat)

You Gave Me the Sun

Posted on by Joel D Canfield

Intro D Dmaj7, then loop
Em G A D [Dmaj7]

Wearily climbing the hill
in the dark
in the cold
in the rain

Walking alone
empty heart
empty soul
empty life

Living alone
so many years
so much pain
so little love

Then you gave me the sun
no more dark
no more cold
no more rain

You gave me your hand
and filled my heart
and filled my soul
and filled my life

For eternity
so much love
so much love
so much love